Writhing Carpets

3 09 2010

I’ve wondered for years now why interior decorators choose such hideous carpet for public spaces. The last time I was at White Concert Hall in Topeka the newly laid carpet, bright blue with yellow and white worms, was writhing and undulating with such ferocity that I could only navigate the lobby by keeping to the perimeter with one hand on the wall. Thank goodness we had seats on the floor because I would have had to crawl up the stairs.

So, oh tasteful professionals of the world, will you please explain this to me? Lawsuit fearing stiffs like me might think that a public space frequented by a sometimes wobbly crowd would want something conservative,  less likely to induce vertigo. I give movie theaters a free pass on garish carpet since they have to deal with spilled sodas and vomiting children, but why hotels and fine arts venues? Can someone help me out here?

And while we’re at it, who designs this stuff? Are they given a bag of marijuana (for medicinal purposes only), a white dropcloth and several cans of clearance house paint (think Jackson Pollock) with which to come up with the newest patterns? I’d love to see that job description.

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One response

3 09 2010
Mollyavalon

That giant ugly mall in Olathe had seizure-inducing carpets that changed from one multicolored zigzag pattern to another every 30 feet.

Re the designers – I once received as a gift a pair of amazingly hideous earrings. We decided the designers had had an Ugly-off contest. Whoever designed the ugliest earrings and got them into stores won.

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