The Hands of a Podiatrist

27 11 2007


Mary had foot surgery a few weeks ago and I’ve been dying to unwrap her foot, just to see what it looks like and to inspect the pin sticking out of her toe. She wouldn’t go along with it, but agreed to let me accompany her for the stitches and pin removal today. Doctor X agreed with the scheme last week, though she seemed a little uncomfortable with having her name mentioned, so I won’t. However, doc had a wonderfully dry sense of humor, which you’ll appreciate further down the page.

It was a fascinating experience and despite the post-surgical appearance of Mary’s foot, the stitch removal didn’t bother me a bit. However, when the doc started tugging and twisting to remove the pin, I thought I was going to pass out and had to step outdoors for a breath of air. I hung in long enough to get a photo and ask a few questions though. Actually, I asked many questions, but I forgot some in the course of staggering out of the building while sweating profusely and looking green, according to Mary.

Egghead: Aren’t you proud of your handiwork on Mary’s foot?

Doctor X: I’m always happy when my patients can wear shoes and go shoe shopping without even thinking about it.

Egghead: You have a very steady hand.

Doctor X: Yes, it’s been better since I stopped drinking.

Egghead: Why did you decide to specialize in feet?

Doctor X: I had a plantars wart removed when I was a child and it was totally painless. I was really impressed by that.

Egghead: (As she was removing stitches) Did you count the stitches as you put them in, or can you feel them?

Doctor X: I can feel them and if I miss any, we’ll get them next week.

Egghead: Is the pin in the bone or alongside it?

Doctor X: The pin is in the bone. Are you alright???




3 responses

27 11 2007

That last line is priceless!

27 11 2007

What an excellent post! I love the steady hands answer.

28 11 2007

Yes, really green, which was a surprise to me because I’d always thought of that as a figure of speech.

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