Bats in the Belfry

3 09 2007

I truly enjoy living in this old house, but it has a wildlife issue like no other place I’ve ever lived. I was sitting at the dining room table putting on my running shoes this morning, when I realized there was a bat flying in circles in the entryway. Actually, I had to just sit there and watch if for a few seconds to give the real horror of the situation time to sink in.

It was sort of an out of body comedy, since the rational part of my mind could recognize just how humorous it was to be crawling all around the house opening doors in hopes that the thing would just fly out on its own. The panic stricken side of me was forcing me to scream like a little girl every time the thing flew at me, which was alot. Of course, the poor thing was every bit as freaked out as I was, so I had to resort to chasing it all around the house swinging a towel at it until I finally knocked it out of flight and trapped it under a wire wastebasket.

Really, it’s a great house, but it’s beginning to feel like Marlin Perkins and Mutual of Omaha’s Wild Kingdom. Remember that? It was on every Sunday night. Anyway, this bat thing comes on top of a snake in the kitchen this spring, along with every kind of spider known to this region, a skunk under the deck, hedgehog under the tool shed, and my neighbor Henry, who is actually human.




2 responses

6 09 2007
Nikki Colorado

I have also had wildllife in my house. Since I’m nearly blind without my contacts, I didn’t realize one morning what the dark object was above my front door. As I came closer and peered at it from a distance of approximately 12 inches, I realized it was a large black snake, curled over the top of the woodwork. No idea how it could have made it there. My blood curdling screams brought help fast, in the form of my darling husband.
Then there was the time the bird fell from the chimney into the fireplace and beat its little wings against the glass door (luckily closed) I was so petrified I left my house for the weekend to wait out its death. I guess it starved. Makes my blood run cold to think about it even now.
I also recently had an interesting personal encounter with “Trapper John”, a colorful individual who makes his living ridding houses of a variety of unwanted varmints. His intensity made me thankful I only had a nest of mice in my attic instead of the suspected squirrel infestation. He provided a strict regimen of remedies that I dutifully made note of, knowing there was no way I would be able to follow even a fraction of his instructions. I can only hope he doesn’t come back to check on me, as I suspect there would be severe consequences for my failure to follow the program. If you need his number I will provide it but warn you to consider carefully before letting “Trapper” into your life.

18 09 2007

Egghead, now that the bats are gone, the raccoon removed and the skunk trapped and assassinated, what are you doing with your spare time?

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