I’ve Lost My Shoes

I knew this afternoon that I was not in Kansas anymore when I couldn’t find my shoes and couldn’t remember the last time I’d worn them. I wore running shoes this morning, but I honestly couldn’t recall the last time I had on street shoes or even sandals. After all, shoes are totally unnecessary when you’re simply traveling across a short stretch of beach to the water. And that’s nice.

I’ve done nothing today but drink coffee, read a novel and bob around in the ocean. As a matter of fact, I spent enough time bobbing around in the salt water that I felt a little like a jellyfish, no purpose in life other than being carried along on the current. Well, I have had a little more purpose to the day, namely going for a run and keeping an eye on my watch so as not to miss cocktail hour.

The Passing of a Day

I sat perfectly still for so long this morning on the weathered wooden steps leading down to the beach that the swallows forgot about me and swooped within feet, catching insects and doing whatever birds do. And a couple of houses down, mother and son struggled to carry a plastic bin of toy trucks, scoops and buckets down to the water. I wonder how many tons of plastic beach toys are carried out to sea each summer, to be anonymously deposited at high tide in another country in six months or a year.

I’ve been observing the passage of a day at the beach, not really a part of the activity on the sand, just watching the sun come up and move across the sky. It’s a far more manageable pace than my normal day and I’m a little worried that I won’t be able to launch back in to life if I spend too much time at this. I suppose I’ll fetch another handful of bing cherries, watch the sun continue to move across the sky, and think it over a little while longer, maybe even nap on it.

Adriana’s Butterfly

On a long beach ramble this afternoon, I discovered a nice sand sculpture in the shape of what I thought was a dragonfly. As CEO and sole employee of Dragonfly Communication Services, it seemed only right to photograph it for my blog. While I admired it, the sculptress approached to tell me how she made it and that she planned to decorate it with shells later. Adriana must be 7 or 8 years old and seemed pretty excited with the idea of becoming an internet celebrity.

Unfortunately, I failed to bring my camera cord, so I’ll have to add photos later. However, Adriana feels she may be able to produce a dolphin sculpture tomorrow and I encouraged her to aim high, so who knows what may be accomplished this week.

I, for one, plan to accomplish nothing. As a matter of fact, I’m lying on the couch right now, laptop on my stomach, watching a kite bobbing around over the surf.

Birthdays

Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. -Faith Baldwin, novelist

The Joy of Flarp

I learned many years ago that even my most inedible baking failures were considered a fabulous success if I took them to work. I always chalked that up to the dismal nature of corporate cubicle work, where even a stale muffin seems a joyous thing compared to gray walls, gray carpet, metal desk and fluorescent lights. As I often say, “It’s all relative”.

My buddy Julie proved that point again by introducing my work group to Flarp. Check it out: http://www.amazon.com/Flarp-Noise-Putty/dp/B00005BRPX   She brought each of us a container of it and after the initial tentative prods, we now have lively rounds of loud, wet flarping. We laugh until we cry and I had a flarp voice mail message on my phone this morning. It’s fabulous stuff and I’m sure every office needs a case of it in their supply room, right next to the White-Out in an easy sniff container.

Of course, when you shop for it on Amazon, they offer a variety of other products that might interest you, such as a fart pen, fart whistle, and a battery operated Flarp noisemaker, just in case you find the goo too much work.

And on a final note, here are a couple of Flarp definitions from the good (?) people of Urban Dictionary:

1. The onomatopoeia reference to the sound (or mixture of tones) produced by one or a combination of the following: 1. Traditional fart; 2. The Shart; etc, etc.

2. In music, a note that is so completely wrong or out-of-tune that it is impossible to determine whether it is flat or sharp.

“That last chord sounded pretty flarp to me.”

And now…

for a little beach music. I love my nano.

A Little Song, a Little Dance, a Little Seltzer Down Your Pants

Well, it’s not a little song and no one is dancing, but here you go, Joe.

As for the seltzer, only you know that.

The Moon Illusion

On our first night in the huts in Colorado, we watched an enormous full moon rise in the sky. It was a cloudless night, full of stars despite the bright moonlight. A couple of nights later, looking out the window of a different hut at the now waning moon, the three of us discussed what I now call the moon illusion (Thanks, Walt!). Using a saucepan lid as an example, Ray explained the theory having to do with light refraction, which Betsy understood easily and which only piqued my curiosity.

Basically, when the full moon is rising or setting, it appears larger than it does when viewed much higher in the sky. There are lots of theories about why this is, although everyone seems to agree that it is an optical illusion of some sort. Since the moon is actually one radius of the earth farther away when rising and setting, one theory is that the additional atmosphere between moon and observer causes light refraction and the illusion of a larger moon. However, physicists have shown that differential refraction would actually flatten the appearance, rather than magnifying it.

Another popular theory is that it’s all a matter of perspective, since we see the rising and setting moon relative to trees or buildings on the horizon. The Ponzo Illusion illustrates how our perception of object size is influenced by other objects in our field of view. This doesn’t seem to explain it though, since even people in airplanes too far above the earth’s surface to perceive objects on the horizon still report the illusion.

There are lots of theories about brain function, the shape of our eyeballs, etc., but the most popular explanation seems to be the sky bowl theory. This is sort of the opposite of the Ponzo Illusion, and holds that we perceive the sky at the horizon to be farther away than the sky above us.  The theory is that objects on the horizon actually make the sky seem farther away, while the absence of reference points above us make the sky seem closer. Our perception of the greater depth of the horizon sky tricks us into believing the moon is larger, even though it isn’t.

Have I put you to sleep yet? Well, it may not solve the problems of the day, but it gives you something to think about with the next full moon.

More Last Suppers

It’s melon season at the local farmers market and as I was wrapping a few perfectly ripe chunks of cantaloupe in strips of savory prosciutto (with an eye on the mouth watering bottle of Conundrum chilling in the refrigerator), I started thinking about a conversation I had with a young guy at the 10th Mountain Hut in Colorado.

He had just graduated from the Culinary Institute of America in NY and was talking about the job he started only the week before in Denver. Cutting right to the chase, I asked him what he would request if he had only one meal left to enjoy in this life. Along with foie gras and sauterne, he included melon and prosciutto. Actually, he listed many items, which answered my real question of “Are you a cook or chef?”.

As a graduate of the CIA, I already knew the answer, but his response was entertaining nonetheless. And now I must be off for a glass of that wine!

And Now It’s Done

This is my finished desk. Maybe I should have used one of the more formal photos, but the context of shop and tools seemed to make sense.  The surfaces were sanded to perfection, oiled, then finally waxed and buffed to a soft glow. I thought it was wonderful in the shop, but it’s even better while I’m sitting here with both elbows on it, tapping away at my laptop.

It’s jam packed with interesting details, curves and patterns, which will be a great relief when I’m stuck on a word or idea and need a little distraction. And speaking of details, following is a photo of the tenon securing stretcher to leg. You can really only see it from floor level, but I’ll appreciate it when I’m down there stretching or looking for the back to my earring. Notice how the grain of the wood was chosen to match the curve of the stretcher.

It also has a shallow pencil drawer, which will be perfect for hiding a piece of chocolate, an eraser and stamps.